“I don’t understand why you’re freaking out about this - you’ve been at the helm since you were five. You’re clearly capable of weathering this. I don’t understand why you’re in doubt of yourself.” And, of course, he’s right: I have been at the helm since I was five, and I am quite capable of captaining this ship through this storm.
I want to tell him why, that it’s never too late to sink the ship - never too late - but instead I just smile and say nothing, choosing to let him live his way into the answer on his own.
Friday, April 10, 2009
La Fin du Monde
“La Fin du Monde?” he asks, examining the label on the bottle of beer he’s just opened. Upon reading the alcohol content he teases “Nine percent? Are you trying to get me naked?” “We split a 750 milliliter bottle of La Fin du Monde on a date, and I did get you naked,” I reply confidently. “Oh,” he says, looking back at the bottle, “It works then. Good,” and takes a long swig.
Under the Category of: I Knew That
Tuesday morning I woke to find the house cold. I wandered up to the living room to check the thermostat and read 57 °F, well enough below the set point for the heat to have come on. It shouldn’t have gotten that cold. I could hear the circulation pump running, but when I put my hands on the radiators, they were cool, not warm or hot. I wandered downstairs, grabbing the long lighter as I went. We’d lost power the night before, and since it’s hot water heat with its own tank, the pilot can go out and yet continue circulating hot water - for a while, anyway.
I opened the boiler panel, then the pilot/burner door and propped the little door open with its hook. Moving the ignitor lever over to the ‘pilot’ set point, I re-lit the pilot and watched that it stayed lit. Satisfied, I then moved the ignitor lever over to ‘furnace’, wanting to make sure that the pilot stayed lit once there, too. A half second later, I hear the jets on the burner, a one foot by one foot plate, just inches beyond the pilot light, open. Just as I think “Oh, shit, the burner’s gonna -” a small fireball erupts from the door as the burner ignites. I hold perfectly still - something I learned in my first fireball incident: Never pull away from an imminent fireball - it just comes with you. More on that lesson another time.
Anyway, a half second more and the fireball is gone, and I think calmly “I was supposed to turn the heat down at the thermostat before I did this... I knew that.”
I appear to have singed a few of the hairs on my right thumb, but absolutely no other sign of fire damage on me.
Some of you may argue otherwise. That’s what the comments section is for.
I opened the boiler panel, then the pilot/burner door and propped the little door open with its hook. Moving the ignitor lever over to the ‘pilot’ set point, I re-lit the pilot and watched that it stayed lit. Satisfied, I then moved the ignitor lever over to ‘furnace’, wanting to make sure that the pilot stayed lit once there, too. A half second later, I hear the jets on the burner, a one foot by one foot plate, just inches beyond the pilot light, open. Just as I think “Oh, shit, the burner’s gonna -” a small fireball erupts from the door as the burner ignites. I hold perfectly still - something I learned in my first fireball incident: Never pull away from an imminent fireball - it just comes with you. More on that lesson another time.
Anyway, a half second more and the fireball is gone, and I think calmly “I was supposed to turn the heat down at the thermostat before I did this... I knew that.”
I appear to have singed a few of the hairs on my right thumb, but absolutely no other sign of fire damage on me.
Some of you may argue otherwise. That’s what the comments section is for.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The Taoist Farmer, or "Maybe"
There was once a Taoist farmer. One day, the Taoist farmer’s only horse broke out of the corral and ran away. The farmer’s neighbors, all hearing of the horse running away, came to the Taoist farmer’s house to view the corral. As they stood there, the neighbors all said, “Oh, what bad luck!” The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”
About a week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a whole herd of wild horses, which the Taoist farmer and his son quickly corralled. The neighbors, hearing of the corralling of the horses, came to see for themselves. As they stood there looking at the corral filled with horses, the neighbors said, “Oh, what good luck!” The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”
Soon after, the Taoist farmer’s son broke his leg taming one of the wild horses. The farmer’s neighbors, all hearing of the son breaking his leg, came to the Taoist farmer’s house to see him. As they stood there, the neighbors all said, “Oh, what bad luck!” The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”
At that same time, in China, there was a war going on between two rival warlords. The warlord of the Taoist farmer’s village was involved in this war. In need of more soldiers, he sent one of his captains to the village to conscript young men to fight in the war. When the captain came to take the Taoist farmer’s son, he found a young man with a broken leg who was delirious with fever. A few days later, the son’s fever broke. The neighbors, hearing of the son’s not being taken to fight in the war and of the return to good health, all cam to see him. As they stood there, each one said, “Oh, what good luck!” The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”
About a week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a whole herd of wild horses, which the Taoist farmer and his son quickly corralled. The neighbors, hearing of the corralling of the horses, came to see for themselves. As they stood there looking at the corral filled with horses, the neighbors said, “Oh, what good luck!” The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”
Soon after, the Taoist farmer’s son broke his leg taming one of the wild horses. The farmer’s neighbors, all hearing of the son breaking his leg, came to the Taoist farmer’s house to see him. As they stood there, the neighbors all said, “Oh, what bad luck!” The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”
At that same time, in China, there was a war going on between two rival warlords. The warlord of the Taoist farmer’s village was involved in this war. In need of more soldiers, he sent one of his captains to the village to conscript young men to fight in the war. When the captain came to take the Taoist farmer’s son, he found a young man with a broken leg who was delirious with fever. A few days later, the son’s fever broke. The neighbors, hearing of the son’s not being taken to fight in the war and of the return to good health, all cam to see him. As they stood there, each one said, “Oh, what good luck!” The Taoist farmer replied, “Maybe.”
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